Reflections on my blog..

As the due date to our blogs looms nearer and nearer, I can see many of my peers frantically scrambling to finish their last few posts over msn, facebook, and even just through our tangled webs of blogs.  This is practically the end of an era, an end that I once thought would never come. To be honest, when the topic of blogging was first approached in class, I hated it.  I immediately decided that this project would cause me nothing but pain and sheer aggravation, a predictable reaction to my known fear and avoidance of technology.  But as the time to say goodbye to my online personality gets closer, I feel myself beginning to dread the near future.  What started out as the bane of my existence has somehow become personal, and somehow I no longer cringe when signing on.  This project has exposed me to the world of blogging that I had never seen before.  It was great to have a place to share my ideas about the novel, and even better that I got the chance to see what my peers had been thinking as well. 
Although I will NOT miss Slaughterhouse Five, it is with a tear in my eye that I say goodbye to my blog..

just kidding. I'm pretty relieved that I actually managed to finish this thing on time considering how badly I procrastinated, so I won't be that heartbroken that it's over.  But I did mean the rest of it, this really has been a great experience!

The blog of Allison!

For our last post, we were meant to review someone else's blog.  SO, I chose to check out Allison's :)
Going into the blog, I didn't really know what to expect.  I knew that Allison had a small obsession with celebrity, and the only piece of writing that I had ever read of her's had been an essay on the afterlife that had been written to try and intentionally fail.  I knew Allison had more potential than that, and so I clicked onto her blog, hoping for the best.

I was not disappointed!  Allison's blog had everything: quotes about life (my favourite was
"Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people." - Randy Pausch) which I'm a little suspicious of having been on One Tree Hill, and even poetry!  In the past, poetry has never meant anything to me.  I have always looked on it as sloppy lyrics missing musical backing.  But Allison managed to take the most bizarre SH5 and blend it with her own memories and reading experience, creating something unlike anything I had ever read before.  But I'll elaborate on that later.
The link to the first post I will discuss:
http://allyinline.blogspot.com/2011/04/9-could-have-should-have-would-haveand.html-Lazarro's fulfillment

There were several things that caught my attention about this post.  When I read Sh5, I remember being confused and truly frustrated with the lack of direction and order the novel possessed.  What is the point of reading a novel that's not in order?  It made no sense to me as to why a renowned author would take suspense and action out of his novel, especially one that he worked on for YEARS.  But in this post, Allison really made me appreciate Sh5 for what it is. I particularly enjoyed her example 'It's like a PowerPoint presentation, you present Table of Contents  for what you will cover, and then you break it down. It helps organize a reader's thought process'.  This helped me to appreciate  Sh5 for what it really is, and it also helped show me that by doing this Vonnegut has allowed his novel to truly do its job.  Novels should not only be about the plot and what happens next.  A truly fantastic novel is one that makes you think, and delivers a launch pad for your own ideas.  I kind of questioned Allison's finding humour in the death of Valencia.  I used to think it was tragic that a girl's only love could be taken from her, and she resultantly and inadvertly kills herself (kind of Romeo and Juliet-ish) . But when I analyzed the situation from Allison's viewpoint, I could not think of Valencia the same way.
the second:
http://allyinline.blogspot.com/2011/04/6-slaughterhouse-five-catch-22.html-also read catch-22
The second post of Allison's that interested me was her comparison of Sh5 and catch-22.  I read catch-22 a couple years back, and I was so irritated I had to put the book down, unfinished.  In Allison's comparison, a point that really struck me was the theme of insanity.  Pilgrim spent time in a mental hopsital when everyone thought he was sane, and when he was enlightened about fate and free-will, he was called crazy.  This is just like Yossarian's plight in Catch-22.  If you click on the above link you can read more of Allison's elaboration on this topic, which I highly recommend.  All I really can say about this post is that it makes perfect sense.
the third:
http://allyinline.blogspot.com/2011/03/im-on-verge-of-chapter-seven.html
Before I start talking about this post, I just want to say that Allison's  poetry is awesome.  I loved reading about her own reading experience because it was also fitting for my own.  Do yourself a favour and go read it! I think my favourite lines were
Scrawled out every possible way to describe all that happened
Yet my paper heart is still as blank as a cloudless sky
AWESOME!
But back to this post.  This post really gave me a lot to think about.  I can't say I agree with the idea of fate and also a higher being presiding over our destinies.  To me, these are just two entirely different things and I feel that you can't have both.  I can't say that I also believe in fate, I'd like to believe that I have a little bit of control over my future.  However, the perspective in the post really made me tilt my head to the side and think that maybe everything actually does happen for a reason.  I really liked this part:
"Because for all the bad memories, the nothing-at-all's and the closed glass door, I suppose there are just as many good memories."
So true! But anyways, that's all.  Allison's blog had great ideas, and they were written which such fluidity that I did not only recall her ideas but also her writing itself.  Great job :)

I am incapable of using technology.  I wanted to illustrate a scene from SH5, but then I remembered that I am neither an artist nor do I possess the patience or gift for photoshop.  But, I decided to give photoshop a try and this is what happened! I know its ugly, but its the best I could do. :)

So, what we have here is the scene from SH5 when Billy allows the sniper shooting at him another chance.  I have included the bird that makes an appearance at the beginning and end of the novel, and also a Trafalmadorian

I particularly like this point of the novel because at this point, I did not know much about Billy.  This moment just confused me, as I did not know what to think of someone who would purposely stand in the path of a bullet.  However, after reading the rest of the novel, this moment makes sense.  As Billy knows he will die at a much later point, it makes no difference whether or not the sniper gets another shot at him.  

Billy's philosophy on life really fascinates me.  Who are we to say that everything in life does not happen at once?  It's a very surreal idea to me.  However, if one lived like Billy, they would consequently know the details of their death.  In my opinion, there is nothing worse than knowing your fate.  Knowing how and when you will die may leave some people resigned to their fates, and become hopeless.  Living properly should be about living with a focus on life and vitality, and not have an emphasis on death.  After all, we are all meant to live in the 'amber of the moment'.  When we only look back on what has already happened, we turn into a pillar of salt.  When we focus on death, we lose hope for tomorrow. 

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

- Oscar Wilde

This made me think of Sh5: 

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

- Soren Kierkegaard 

A prisoner of his own mind

Billy Pilgrim's status of mental stability has been subject to dispute for perhaps as long as the history of SH5 itself.  Those arguing that Billy has lost his sanity due to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder claim that his episodes of warping through time are just symptoms of his disease.  This standpoint allows to say that Billy is a prisoner of his own mind.  Because his mind has been twisted and is no longer capable of logical thinking or processing events normally, Billy is incapable of living in a chronologically accurate fashion.  Pilgrim's PTSD defines the order in which Billy experiences moments of his life.  PTSD strips all sense of normalcy from Billy's life, which could be the cause of Billy's loneliness and feelings of being different.  Both of these feelings are apparent from Billy's lack of ability to form lasting, meaningful relationships.  In this sense, PTSD defines not only how Billy will interpret events from his life, but it also severely inhibits the possibility for Billy to really connect with someone.

As Billy's mind has been taken hostage by his controlling PTSD, his life has slipped out of his grasp.  Billy ironically claims to believe in free-will, while he is powerless to even the order in which he experiences his life.  Billy complains often towards the end of his life of feeling lonely, and being unhappy with his life.  In this area Billy has no one to blame but himself.  If Billy is a believer of free-will, he should not feel that he is powerless to change his life to benefit himself.

 When Billy accepts his fate, especially in his knowledge of when he will die, Billy changes his belief of free-will to one of fate.  While earlier I have thought that SH5 shows no advancement of plot or character development, I must now admit that I was wrong.  Billy Pilgrim shows growth, although not in a properly linear sense that is familiar.  Billy Pilgrim's growth is harder to identify because it is a change in his beliefs, a change in his way of thinking.  Billy's growth is the change of his understanding of life, in that he once believed in free-will, and after his visit with the Tralfamadorians and the war Billy has instead become  a believer in fate.  Billy's belief in fate disallows him making positive changes in his life, and truly enjoying all that life has to offer.

 The power of positive thought is often underestimated.  If you are unhappy with something in your life, only you have the ability to change the situation or at the very least, your perspective.

Valencia

Valencia Merble is at the very least, unlikeable.  But really, there's so much more to her than people realize.  Other than her desperate clinginess and obvious lack of intelligence, there's also her most definitive personality trait: her constant consumption.  No evidence can be found from SH5 to prove that Valencia has ever positively contributed to the world.
  It is believed by many that Billy Pilgrim is the embodiment of the typical American soldier.  Pilgrim is cowardly, unpatriotic, and not to be harsh, but kind of pathetic.  These are traits that cause American stomachs to turn, as America takes the utmost pride in her soldiers.  However, all variety of outsiders to this culture can agree to seeing the similarities between the character and a larger, real life figure.  Perhaps in keeping with this tone, Vonnegut has modelled Valencia to represent the faults of society.  Although Valencia means well, the focus for her character is on her flaws, namely society's flaws.
  The major flaw that Valencia and society have in common between them is their constant consumption and lack of production.  the world is beginning to mindlessly use, waste, and destroy, without a second thought or a backwards glance to the efforts that generated their means of consumption.  Inventors and humanitarians alike are becoming few and far between, and as such, it seems as though humanity is going down the drain.  Perhaps in the creation of the character of Valencia, Vonnegut was creating a model of our possible future so that we can all strive to avoid this fate and to see the error in our ways.  We could all help humanity out if we all tried to be a little less like Valencia Merble.

looking back on slaughterhouse five,

I must admit, to be fair, that SH5 is the only text by Vonnegut that I've yet to read.  However, this singular text has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth for Vonnegut's style.  Considered to be a masterpiece by many, SH5 left me with nothing but a confused feeling and really, disappointment.  I expected so much more from Vonnegut than just a jumbled mess of anecdotes and a thin veil over Vonnegut's own wartime experiences.  Some critics of Sh5 are unhappy with the lack of plot development or depth of characters, but this is not my source of annoyance.  I would be able to tolerate SH5 and genuinely be able to appreciate its genius if only Vonnegut were able to decide what exactly his novel is meant to accomplish.
  I can get a lot from Sh5.  I totally understand that through Trafalmador (sp?), Vonnegut is stressing the importance and neccesity of finding meaning within our lives.  That was actually the only part of the novel I fully enjoyed, as I found many parallels between their planet's message and the doctrines of different new age teachings.  I can sort of sympathize with Vonnegut's condemning of the direction in which marriage and family structure seems to be heading.  The only real issue is that SH5 is supposed to be about war.  Although some of the plot takes place in Dresden, the novel instead focuses on relationships that take place during this war. 
   I guess what I'm trying to say is that it seemed to me like Vonnegut was unsure of what message he wanted to get across, so he decided to hit all of his bases, just in case.  Although I understand that the point of the novel is for it to be purposely confusing, I couldn't help but feel that Vonnegut was just as confused when writing SH5 as I was while reading it.  However, even if I were to edit SH5, I can't honestly say that there would be much that I would change. 
   Despite all the rage, confusion, annoyance, and sheer bewilderment that SH5 caused me, I  guess I can finally say I accept it.  For all those who have yet to finish or even begin reading SH5, don't try to understand it. Just accept that fact the Slaughterhouse Five is what it is.

"Like their counterparts of love and compassion, anger and the afflictive emotions can never be used up. They have, rather, a propensity to increase, like a river flooding in summer when the snow melts, so that far from being free, our minds are enslaved and rendered helpless by them. When we indulge our negative thoughts and feelings, inevitably we become accustomed to them. As a result, gradually we become more prone to them and more controlled by them. And we become habituated to exploding in the face of displeasing circumstances."-The Dalai Lama

I'm kind of a huge fan of Buddhism.